Posted by: akilamoni | June 20, 2006

ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY

To all those have been missing me and my blog. I am Bach….
If you are like a friend of mine you will answer ,” I am Mozart”….okie leaving my silliness behind, with no further due I
present to you MY LIFE!!!!!!
I am currently in Ghaziabad. My office is in Noida. I commute everyday for almost 90-100 minutes.
I have been put up in a hotel in ghaziabad. The reason being NOIDA IS UNSAFE.
I have got the better deal. My friends are currently in Jammu and Varanasi!
Yesterday I realised how creepy it can get to be alone. And parents freaking out on the other side of the phone doesnt
help at all. So to forget it all, I switched on the TV and ordered some food and drowned my sorrow.
I am currently learning the basic theoretical aspect of sales and will be thrown into the market from maybe tomorrow
onwards.
Well onto my thoughts.
I just realised that people in North India are completely ignorant of the existence of south India.
They just think of south india as a huge mass of land which produces coconut oil, idly vada sambhar.
All south Indians according to them are madrasis.
Conversations had in the past with other Indians.
Me: ” I am from south India”
XYZ: ” oh madras!!!”

ABC:”Isn’t trivandrum a state?”
ABC(again)” I thought Bangalore was a state”
PQR: ” Akila, I got your letter by fax. The ink was faded and I could barely make out the words Coimbatore. So I have entered
your location as chennai”
Me: ” What?? It says coimbatore why would you enter chennai?”
PQR” It is all the same, isn’t it?”
Me: ” What??? noooooo. Okie Tamilnadu is a state and chennai and coimbatore are cities in that state”
PQR: ” ya, that is true. But they just changed the name to chennai, didn’t you know?”
Me: “oh?”

EFG:”You madrasis are so brilliant. I think it’s because of the coconut oil you eat”
Me:” oh you mean the keralites”
EFG” Aren’t you all the same?”

South Indian food means idly vada sambhar and masala dosa.
All south Indian movies are copied from hindi.
I have also noticed they are quite oblivious to our existence.
For eg. a North Indian would be offended if he hears two south Indians speak in tamil/mallu/telegu/kannada.
But if two north indians are talking in hindi you are expected to understand. If you dont you are expected to learn hindi.
SO my logic is shouldnt I also be offended that north Indians just presume I know Hindi?

I think south Indians are too tolerant. I also find south Indians wanting to ape the north Indians.
My brother’s wedding functions include a mehendi ceremony. My sister in law is planning to wear a lehenga.The mehendi she is
going to wear is not the traditional south indian mailanji which takes 15 mins to apply but the north indian mehendi which
takes 3-4 hours to apply!
Have you ever heard a punjabi having valai kaapu function or wearing a nine yards saree?
If you tell a south indian girl that she looks like a north indian she will be pleased beyond explanation.
But if you tell a north Indian woman she looks like a south indian she will be offended!!!!
I have also noticed that south indians who have been settled in north india take pride in talking hindi fluently. But all my
north Indian friends who have lived all their life in south india hate to be heard speaking tamil in public!

I think we Indians are a hateful lot. The tamils think mallu’s are kanji’s while the mallus think we tams are pandis.The tams think telegus are goltis.
We all think bengalis are bongs and the bongs in turn think they are the superior of the lot.
If you are a parsi you are a bawa to the world, the marwaris are kanjoos while the gujjus are baniyas!
The townies think the pahadis are a dirty lot while the pahadis think the townies have come to dirty their land.

All in all we are one big bickering family!

In the corporate world also people are parochial but in a different sense. They are parochial about their departments.
The sales guy think sales drives the world. My friend kichu was right when she said ” sales people know only one word- I”
Marketing and supply chain serve sales while HR is a useless burden for them.
The marketing guys are too suave to allow anyone come near them.
The supply chain guys think they run the company. The IT guys spy on all of them and reprt them.
Hr….hmmmm while all this happens HR is quite oblivious to the action and considers itself as the backbone while supports
the bickering organization.
The FMCG guys think, BPO/KPOs are useless while the BPO guys think FMCG as an industry is archaic.
The management consultants think they are here to save the lot while the rest of the industry think the consults are
brainless.
According to me everyone is qequally useless. We create a need, con the public by making them believe their life is
incomplete without it and sell the product.

I have noticed in the past few days that the whole of corporate India’s favourite past time is HR bashing. Right from the
sweeper till the CEO love to indulge in this activity.

XYZ(thinking to himself) I am so bored. Want to take a break. Let me go kick some HR butt.

Nothing to talk in the meeting- kick some HR butt.

Feeling unimportant and useless-surefire remedy-kick some HR butt.

Today a friend who was done with his work tried to spend some time by indulging in some HR bashing.
A few minutes into the conversation I said” hey you know what? HR is useless. We do nothing. We trouble others. And guess what?? we get paid for this!!! While you slog your ass off and get paid peanuts…hmmmm…wonder why?”!
He was dumbstruck. He was feeling like” damn how can I continue this conversation?”

Maybe I am just going to write a book like shiv khera and say” Loser dont just bashing. they do Hr bashing”. Okei sad one….sorry junta. Me got to run. The day has ended. Back to my main aur meri tanhayee!!!

And for all those who are useless,vella, have loads of time on their hands, lots of money to spare please call me and give me
company!!!!

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Responses

  1. I Come from Somewhere
    I do not know where
    I the North I am know as a Dravidian
    In the West a Madrasi
    In the south a Tamilian..
    In Chennai/coimby i am an Ambi/bramhin
    in the East (god knows what i havent been there)
    Is there any lace in this Motherland of ours…where i am known as an INDIAN.

  2. Well….you forgot a few bits and pieces there.
    The Kannadigas think Tamilnadu is after kavery and tamilnadu is constantly blaming them for veerapan. Mumbai thinks it is a part of the western world and got itself voted as the rudest place in the world, while the Gujurathi’s are highly suspicious lot. Bongs are people who talk hindi with rosogollas in their mouth, while the tamilians are naive because of curd rice. Malayalees drip with oil, and parsis with money. Saradarji’s well need I tell. we don’t even know what states belong to the eastern part of India. I guess the only time all of us ae united is when we agree to auction of Bihar to Pakistan.

  3. Hi,
    Read dilbert for solace, Akila. Suddenly it strats to make a lot of sense.

  4. If wearing a lehenga is aping the north, wouldn’t wearing a suit(by the groom) be aping the west? When did a “wedding reception” become a part of South India? We have nothing that is ours to start with on the first place!!

  5. If wearing a lehenga is aping the north, wouldn’t wearing a suit(by the groom) be aping the west? When did a “wedding reception” become a part of South-Indian Wedding? We have nothing that is ours to start with on the first place!!

  6. @ anonymous:
    Totally!

    In fact I have wondered many a times, if all this extra stuff is removed the traditional tam brahm wedding wouldnt last for as long as it does now. I have always hated men wearing suits for the reception. Not that I am anti west or anything….but you know.:)

    btw am wearing sarees for my bros weddings! My two pwnce(tuppence) to my own thoughts!

  7. I wonder what your SIL feels when she reads your take on her being a Northi tambram!!

  8. @anon…

    hmmmm…i think she is sensible enuff to understand what i mean here…it was just a passing ref to whatz happening to southy weddings and not a personal remark:))

  9. thats a v interesting article.
    i agree about the South vs North thingy.

    well, I m a palghat iyer who has lived all her life in Baroda. I also hate to be called a “tamilan” and dont want to lool like one.
    Call me a fake or a confused tam. but I think I belong to Baroda wholly.

    ur lehenga thing seems a very interesting topic
    i agree that punjus will never ape the south.

    but lets face it. our weddings r only about rituals, pujais, customs and lots of homam fire. there is no fun, dancing, singing and people letting their hair loose.

    our marriage is about judging the color of samandhi’s sari, making sure the bride doesnt talk to her husband and remains coy,passing comments non-stop about how the girl’s younger sister was chatting up the handsome cousin from the boys side.

    i think we all need to loosen up
    marriages shud be fun !
    elders shud also enjoy and let the youngsters enjoy.

    and about the dress…all we wear is a pattu saree.
    right frm engagement to first night.

    and how come others get to wear lehengas, designer sarees, designer salwaars and gujju style saree ?

    u get married only once. u shud be given the option to dress differently. variety brings excitement.
    i cudnt wear a lehenga for my wedding due to our stale customs.
    i hated my pattu saree on the reception day. same old routine.

    for my Baby shower (whenever it happens) i m going to wear a Lehenga, call a DJ, make everyone dance and wear a lehenga even for my valaikaapu and maybe a 9 yards sari for the seemandam.

    I want to celebrate that occasion with joy and remember it for ever very fondly.
    I dont want that function to get lost in the 1000 other rituals that we have to go thru.

    we south indians defly need to open up a bit. Include some songs/dances/parties in our boring weddings.

    but i agree with most of ur views

    -Lavanya

  10. @Lavanya:

    Wow…first of all thanks. In this age where no one comments(i hope other readers r listening) thanks for that comment.

    🙂 I only wish I could have been lucky abt the chatting abt the handome boy thingy! even that doesnt happen in weddings on my side;)! kidding…

    on a more serious note….ya I think ur rite..we need to loosen up a bit. Keep us posted on ur travails!


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