Posted by: akilamoni | July 13, 2006

Good byes and such things

I am almost done with my first stint- my sales stint.

And I thought life seemed long and endless.

It has been almost three and half weeks in Ghaziabad and noida.Three and half weeks of sales , of various kinds of illness, of various blood tests, of various doctors, of various drivers.

As i prepare to move on from here ,I go through within myself this strange feeling- of leaving. Well face it I am not exactly a great fan of this place. but….

I feel like what Suketu mehta often says in his book “Ullo”.Ya an idiot who has been conned by yet another city into believing I belong there.

My driver asks me ” Madam aaj last day hai?(is it your last day?) My usual retort to such questions is ” Ya since I am going to be dying , this is my last day.” I have used that line shamelessly through various times- Last days in school, engg college, TISS.

He goes on about how much his mother wanted to make a nice home cooked meal for me( This driver of mine happens to be one of the richest people in Ghaziabad. He lives in the most posh locality here and as he says, he drives around for fun. His name is Anurag Saxena. He could well be an investment banker with a name like that and definitely a far cry from Pushpinder!!)

He asks me” Tho madam Chennai mein power cut hai?”

I used to keep thinking how Mumbaikars make the most mundane thing in life bigger than life- train timings. Any mumbaikar who travels by train will adjust his life according to the local train timings and that defines his life. Just when the 5:15 fast left, as crowded as the virar fast…..

All his verbs and adjectives will be in some manner related to his train. His friends are those from the train.

In Noida, it is the power cut. Life is shrouded by things to be done when the current is there and what to do when it is not.

I tell him ” Bhaiyya mujhe patha nahin.”( I dont know)

He is surprised and reaffirms if I am from Chennai.
I say no.

Oh then you must be from Tamilnadu? ( I will forgive him)

The truth is I dont know anything about Chennai. Ask me if it is okie in Coimbatore I might have a vague idea.Mumbai, I thought I knew but only of the little world that I was a part of. There are so many parts to Mumbai I cant even fathom.

The truth is I really dont belong anywhere.

I never felt I had assimilated what Coimbatore’s inner fibre was all about, I didnt imbibe Mumbai’s spirit, I wonder if Ghaziabad and Noida have one.

As much as I am living a life I have always wanted to, it isnt close to what I was expecting it to be.

As I move on from this place, I wonder if I am any close to finding the city I truly belong to.Yet as I leave each city I let myself into being fooled that it has been home to me for whatever little time. I recount the good and bad times and sometimes as in this case, be thankful while saying my goodbyes.



  1. Ah!!!! after a series of Nonsense….comes a peiece which makes a bit of sense…

    though my views differ from yours …i can understand your thoughts..

    For me COIMBATORE is home….and every day i dream of heading abck to coimby …earning millions..and happily….gundu chattila kudhirai ottufying there….

  2. The restless spirit belongs nowhere and yet everywhere. We make our homes for the moment and then move on when time seems ripe. We live with the spirit of the place when present and then leve it behind when we move on. We feel light when there is no bond holding us down, and yet when the light of the day dims the restlessness of not belonging wieghs heavy in the heart. That is perhaps who we are and who we will forever be.

  3. @caco- the whacko!
    yes macchi….true…!!! 🙂

    dei…appa and amma and veedu is home for me….but cbe….am still thinking….!

  4. maybe you’re happiest in transit, thats your home…

  5. @acroyali:

    The more I think about that statement, the more I feel itz true…

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