Posted by: akilamoni | April 18, 2008

Okie!!So how far is your organization ready to go?

Since I work for an organization where I happen to spend about 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, it has pretty much taken up most of my time that I had and hence the organization has to make up.

The management better provide me breakfast since I wake up late and have to pretty much prove my Just In Time skills to reach office. I want healthy breakfast and not artery clogging food.

I will eat lunch in office, because neither my maid nor I can cook and I will complain till my last breath of the Indo-Chinese you serve me.

Since I work 8 hours a day and go home extremely tired, I cant cook in the night by myself. Hence I need a maid which the company has to source for me through a maid hunting agency.

In the weekends, when I dont work, I have to be entertained. I also have to entertain my wife/husband, kid(s) and my maid who has to entertain my kid. Hence I need movie tickets for all of us and I want the tickets which have a good view. Obviously it goes without saying, the movie has to be good. Hence the organization better have a deal with the directors.

Acchooo!!! I am sick. I need a doctor. Right here. Right Now. Oh this headache is killing me. Why cant the office have a chemist store within the premises?

Of course I am tortured to do my grocery shopping in the weekend. Would help if the office tied with a grocery chain to operate within the office premises, so that I can crib about the quality of rice I bought there, fall sick after eating it and take three days sick leave.

I have to look good so that I can show my otherwise ugly face and feet to my clients. But damn, I dont have a beauty parlour within the office compound. You know, this company my friend works for has a VLCC within premises. I am so short changed.

I love to party and get myself drunk silly and stuff myself with starters.I need more team dinners. Actually team lunches are great. I cant get drunk but atleast I dont have to work less on a friday afternoon!!!

Obviously I have to insure my precious life to continue working my guts out for this great organization! I need insurance- group, term life, accident, aids, stupidity, ignorance. Whatever it is- Insure me!

Oh the clothes I wear are so old. I need t shirts. I need t shirts when the CEO sneezes. I want to celebrate my rival’s exit from the company. I want t shirts, watches, clocks, photo frames,cricket match passes, photograph with Koundamani-ugly looking Tamil Comedian), toilet paper(un used).Give me anything free  and I will take it.

I want a house to stay because you have begged me to work in this company. I want house lease, car lease, a leash for my own self. And of course I want my house right in Nariman point 5 paces from my office-Oh not on the sea.I am not Jesus Lizard-I cant walk on water you know!!. I meant on the other side- With a sea view and all maintenance paid.

The organization better tie up with the best schools, because my kids cant get admission elsewhere!!!! 

But why?You ingrate!!!How can you ask why??! Dont I toil and work my blood, sweat(a lot of it) and soul so that you make money(or lose).

My holidays better be taken care of. I know I have to spend time with my team mates who I have to see 5 or 6 days I week but thats a little bit of pain for a free, all expenses paid trip to Bangkok. I will snore my way through your team games and seminars so that I can stay awake in the strip bar in the night!!!! Oh God? I dont have business class tickets???! gees. I am ashamed to say I work for this place!!The company better pay my LTA allowance more than once every two years. Come on. Who are they kidding? An employee needs his/her break. The company better pay for my air travel to Goa, my hotel bills, clean my puke after I leave.
Since I sit on my seat and play video games all day, I want a break and little bit of physical activity. I have my school shorts. I will wear them and play golf in a club for which my company pays the annual fees. Obviously, if the week long partying with my team mates is not enough, I have to have to hob nob with other equally busy people from other organizations.
Phew, the things I need to do to be engaged at my work??!
Sometimes I wonder, if we have a personality and life of our own.Companies bending backwards to sway employees . Flash and awe them with benefits(some of them so complex that sometimes employees actually dont know that they even exist).With sky high expectations from employees being set and worse still, with these expectation  being met by organizations, often leaves me wondering- What is that we all do to demand all of this??!

 

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Responses

  1. you want all this…..look at google


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