Posted by: akilamoni | October 31, 2008

Look up! I have eyes too!

I was having a very heated and important discussion with a colleague and suddenly, I found him slowing down. Ha !!!!!Victory!!! I  win.

Alas…Not so soon. He picked up pace only to slow down soon after that.

It didnt take me too long for me to realize what was happening and I started playing with the id card hanging on my neck to distract him.

There doggy, good doggy……Look away.

So ladies grab your jackets, shawls, scarfs and take to your heels.This colleague is just another man afflicted with a disease what Pip and I call BOOBGAZING. Those afflicted are addressed to as Boobgazers.

Gross as it might sound, am sure lot of you ladies are shaking your head in empathy.

The disease strikes some young  but a vast majority of them have reported first incidence sometime around when they entered college.

When men descend from boys-only schools to “co-ed” colleges, and cant take in all the sights and sounds of the new atmosphere in one day and are clearly overwhelmed, the brain gets very confusing signals and ends up directing the gaze towards, ah, well the boobs.

You will am sure find such men all over the world and it has been proved that there is no cure whatsoever.

Those women faced with the diseased in front of them can resort to wise cracks which mostly will not register in the brain of the afflicted.

Try this- the most brilliant one I have heard so far:(It really happened)

Boob gazer to girl (gazing at….): ” How are you?”

Girl:” They are fine. They cant speak you know”

You can also try quickly snapping your fingers to distract attention. But this is not effective for long.

Can afflict women too. I had a lady teacher in college(why does my college(undergrad) seems like it was filled with freakos) who used to take my viva voici while constantly shifting gaze. EEEkssssssss. (Bad days bad days)

Men have since time immemorial been besotted with the booby gifts but boob gazers define extreme behaviour and no matter how much you pretend to be indifferent about it, you can never feel so. I wonder if these men realise what they are doing and if they have ever tried to stop doing so. I have even faced some with incredible amounts of plaque in their teeth and are found boobgazing with an open mouth.So you are left with an over grown man staring at you with a mouthful of plaque. If I ever start an organization, my recruitment tests will also include tests for boobgazing and plaque in mouth.

Tested positive for boobgazing any one? Rejectedddddd

Imagine such boob gazing chappies with a lady manager. “So what is(gaze), my rating(gaze)?”

Lady”Fired!”

Wonder how their wives feel. “Darling(gaze) can I have some coffee?”

Wife: “Divorce”

Latest research suggests that for lasting effects, try OTS- One Tight Slap(I havent tried it yet, but am itching to).

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Responses

  1. you know what would be an interesting exercise… try this theory (i know its reality)..on bib ;-)… hehehe

  2. Thankfully am not married to a public boob gazer….

  3. I used to be annoyed at these characters who held accounts in the bank branches I worked in. The worst part is you are expected to be polite to these slimeballs.

    But things seem to have changed now with cleavage display in vogue. How fair is it to blame people for looking when people are actually flaunting. I mean why would you want to showcase them if you didnt want them to be noticed. I don’t get it.

    On a related note, I wonder how it feels to be a certain a ‘dor’ able actress – I wonder how she handles all the boobgazing she can’t avoid getting.

  4. It’s a plague .. and many of them think they’re being highly subtle about it .. when it’s so bleeding obvious

    dd

  5. i quite agree.But then there are some women who keep checking out bra ads.I had a friend -45 yrs. back who bought Illustrated weekly for the very reason.Sh’d get excited and wonder aloud how it must feel to wear the ones that were costlier than our mess bill.No, this girl was no dunce,she topped her batch and stood 2nd in the university.I for one put it down to genes.

  6. I am sympathetic but sort of agree with the 2nd para of Usha’s comment. Though I must warn that I belong to the other species.
    I sometimes think about being afflicted too, but its generally the case when the subject of discussion are being “expressed” one way or other. And in that case, though I try to be moderate, where can one draw the line ?

  7. @ Monu:

    Well, there is something called tact!

  8. Awarded!

  9. Its better not to try anything when they’re doin this to u for the first time as they’re just curious about u. For the second time, tell them u don’t like it, for the third, O.T.S.


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